i havent been updating very often lately due to my hectic life here in college. shit man, im so freaking out for UKCAT this wednesday! i dont know whether im mentally prepared! ive done all the practices i can but i dont know whether it is enough. verbal reasoning, decision analysis are the only component that i think i can score well. quantitative reasoning and abstract reasoning can go die. i really hate aptitude test because you can only prepare by practising but what you can expect to come out is NOTHING. i lost hope in the quantitative component due to the fact that i cant manually use a calculator. instead, they provide an on-screen calculator which i heard, sucks balls because it lags. DEEP SIGH. i need a lot of prayers and luck that day. InsyaAllah i can do it. but can my week go any worse now that i know how low my iq is?

i cant believe im in ky for 10 months already! when i think about all the memories with my friends, we all miss it dearly. another 6+ months with the batchmates. i love these people to death. our personalities and attitude vary, we all come from diff background but our goal are all the same, which is to fly together! thank God, we are all doing alevels. we are going through the same thing, so its easy for us to talk about it every now and then. to know that we only have a couple of months left together, it breaks my heart though. :( im going to appreciate all the time starting from NOW ONWARDS! no regrets when i leave ky. HEE. i think ive lost quite a number of readers now. haha. wooots. nobody is reading my bloggie anymore but its aite, blog is to express not to impress! 

anyhoot, i heard from my friends that kyuem’s achievement is all over the newspaper. most of them gt amazzzzing results. 3-4 A*s! i feel proud of my seniors and insyaAllah, i can be just like them! :) i have a lot of doubts lately and losing all the self confidence that i had. surrounded by national scholars, and sponsored students from top notch companies and organisations had me feeling inferior since first day. but yeah, one thing i learnt about ky is that, people are all the same eventually. even those who are privately financed, theyre so down to earth here!  

my week didnt come out to be good. i feel pretty down when my tutor thought i didnt have what it takes to achieve my dream vocation. it breaks my heart into a million pieces. not lying. when your tutor who is ur referee by default has no hope in you says that, lemme exaggerate this abit, it feels like the world is going to end. i might not be as hardworking as others or have the brains like others do, but i do have the passion. its just too bad that he cant see that. i wasnt given a chance to prove myself and not given the time to let me compose myself. he has high expectation and i understand that because he might have not encountered such student like me. (KY students ure talkin about-_-) but i hold back my tears, because i know the only one who can determine where i go is Allah. 

but its okay la. i dont have high expectation on myself either. im competiting with the rest of the world. to get a place out of 3 available places in university, competiting with international students, i know i will lose it. my family had told me to not give up for what i liked, so i wouldnt. but if takda rezeki, then i have to move on…and find whats best for me, with His guidance of course. im scared like mad. but i have to finish what i have started. so theres no turning back. to tell you the truth, im just looking forward to get it done with. 

be strong fira. xx

in 2 weeks time, BANGSAWAN. 

in 1 month time, PS SUBMISSION.

in 1 month+ time, UKCAT. 

in 2 months time, TRIALS. 

in 3 months time, AS EXAM. 

KILL ME NOW >:( 

what would our generation be like in the future? 

wow the last time i posted something was about a month ago. how time flies!

my first semester in college has ended. i will miss this semester alot because this sem brought so much memories, so much tears and joy that i cannot explain with words. i met beautiful people, dealt with problematic people, and faced so many challenges of being an independent WOMAN. i enjoyed myself to the fullest and i didnt regret of passing a few nights or so away by foolin’ around a little bit because i know for sure that i wouldnt be able to have that for my 2nd and 3rd sem. BUSY YEAR AHEAD OF ME >:(

first few weeks started pretty rough for me because i was always missing home and things always didnt go the way i wanted it to be. i was very fussy about everything back in january. so okay, i told myself give KY a chance and made myself believe that i can do this on my own and clearly, i did. boarding school ..its tough. living in an apartment with bunch of girls isnt as fun or easy as you think. reality is, there will be DRAMAS. but most of the time, the other bunch whom i called sisters, they help you get through your tough times. it is fun to have someone you can approach in the middle of the night to ease your tension after “hours” of studying, have them to sleepover at your apartment to accompany you when you feel lonely, make meals together, watch movies with, the endless “girl” talk and be there for you when you need them. i dont know how i would survive without these girls.

i remember, the girls who lived on the 3rd floor climbed through aminah’s window in the middle of the night to surprise shuba on her birthday. i remember how hard it was to get firzana in! haha. Fai’s birthday, she got bashed among the girls! Rotten eggs, expired food, burnt rice and so forth. Haha. “DISCO” ball at Zurins place! Ah i miss. DANCING LESSONS at my place! Omg haha. The short shopping trip to KL with Sha, Minah, Fatimah and Zurin. Attending all the activities in KY-house party,KY Hour,End of Sem dinner, CNY dinner :) Foolin’ around with the batchmates at cafe after class. Going each other’s room after class to satisfy our hunger, watch movies! haha. Learnt how to make banana toffee, apple crumble pie and baked potato with mushroom fillings in Culinary Art and gave them to our loved ones! House events - supporting my house Topaz during interhouse competitions! i cant forget those moments i cheered my heart out for Topaz. The best feeling was WINNING HOUSE CUP! “THE” Sleepover. 5-6 matresses combined in my common room at the apartment! Haha. The “RUSH” HOUR in Shah Alam - Sha’s reckless and ridiculously fast speed driving! The girls panicking at the back seat! HAHA. The emotional breakdown. The “talk” people like to make about my batch. The “attack” we all got. The hatred in a certain period of time. But in the end, one thing we all know for sure is that we will all stick on each other and have each other’s back. I remember girls screaming at the walkway at night! There are always big beetles, spiders or cockroaches or hugeass unknown creature crawling at the hallway! Monkeys in the morning hoarding the garbage bin! haha. So much more memories that only i would be able to understand the significant of it..sigh .. 

2nd Sem, i will see you in 2 weeks time :(

When my parents type out a message through BBM, they never fail to make me laugh with their unnecessary usage of emoticons. LOL. Parents.  

My sister once told me, Fira, when youre out there, in the real world, you have to face people who are much worse than the people you are dealing with today. There are people who will try to bring you down. People backstabbing you out there. So hang in there. 

Im sent here so that i could be independent & study well. I have found myself a place here and thats obviously, great. But…….problems…they cant be avoided.

I want to give and take but seriously why bother trying when the other party is giving attitude? I wouldnt mind if someone lock themselves in their room and doesnt give a fuck to whats happening outside but I do appreciate a little effort to help out with the cleaning, to be polite, to be “nice” and accepting. I thought after some confrontation would do some good but some things just cant change. I admit my mistakes and improved myself. But i wonder if the other party takes my advice? Obviously not.

Well, i have to suck it up for another year. *Breathes*

I hate Faara for leaving me. I dont have a ROOMIE that i can mingle with :(

In life, we have to give and take and respect each other’s opinions/religious view/superstition/anything.

It has been 5 months, going to 6. Come on. Stop with the hating and judging. 

clumsycardhouse:

Everyone please watch! SO CUTE!

topaz housetrip. :)

 i thought this weekend was going to be more prodcutive than i could ever imagine because of the kiasu mode kicking in before exam starts BUT who would have thought that most of my time were going to be spent at the malls? -_-

im done with chemistry. i just have to look up for more exercises to do. which means i have to travel all the way to subang jst to save my time from searching past year papers through the internet. it better be worth it.

2 more chapters of biology left and 2 more for economics. i feel bad for putting my econs aside. why issit back then 9 subjects were tolerable and now 4 subjects are already killing me? nevermind. i shouldnt questioned cie for that. im hungry for exercises now.

i spent my friday at berjaya times square to help out with the 17th malaysian association of orthondontist international scientific conference and trade exhibition but because i have exams i had to let go of the gala night which was significantly important. it could have been a good experience.

i shouldve gone for the gala and not for the rehearsal night. how smart. HEH.

anyways, gotta get back to my work now. i cant wait for first sem exam to be over! movies movies movies! <3 i thought i was going insane with the “face it, there isnt civilisation in KY” but if you look on the brighter side, KY is relaxing during the weekends. all u need is an external hard disk with dozens of good movies, stock of food to save your butt from starvation, music and well-functioning aircond. :) seriously.